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<p>    Christian Faith and Positive Thinking</p>
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<p>    Christian Faith and Positive Thinking</p>
<p><strong>By: <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a></strong></p>
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<p><strong>About the Author</strong></p>
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<p>How would you like to improve your life starting today? Visit Allan&#8217;s site to discover an exciting and effortless way to empower your mind with Christian positive thinking using the power of <a href="http://www.spiritualsowing.com/">Christian affirmations</a></p>
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<p><a href="http://scripturalthinking.com/2010/08/19/christian-affirmations-of-faith/">http://scripturalthinking.com/2010/08/19/christian-affirmations-of-faith/</a></p>
<p class="tracker">(ArticlesBase SC #3092247)</p>
<p>Article Source: <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/">http://www.articlesbase.com/</a> &#8211; <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/christian-faith-and-positive-thinking-3092247.html" title="Christian Faith and Positive Thinking">Christian Faith and Positive Thinking</a></p>
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<p>Faith is the conviction of the truth and it simply means to believe. The word affirmation means to affirm something to be true. One of the remarkable stories in the Bible is when the Apostles said to Jesus &#8211; Increase our faith. I also like the NLT version of the scripture that says, <strong>Lord we need more faith, tell us how to get it.</strong></p>
<p>If you are anything like me (then you are totally weird) but beside that, I bet you have asked the same type of questions at times in your life. How do I get more belief? Or&#8230; I need more belief?</p>
<p>The remarkable answer to this question by Jesus was that <strong>we really don&#8217;t need much belief</strong> to see miraculous things. He said if you has faith the size of a grain of mustard seed you could move mountains and pluck up trees. So I pose the question to you then&#8230; <strong>How powerful is faith?</strong></p>
<p>If just the tiniest portion of faith (the size of a tiny grain of mustard seed) can remove mountains <strong>then what could an entire fist full of faith accomplish?</strong> The next time you are in a Church gathering and your fellowship is praying for someone or something, think about the entire collective joined together <strong>as one massive powerful force of faith</strong>. If all just possessed a mustard seed of faith then combined your prayers can bring forth miracles.</p>
<p>I am also fascinated that Jesus continued in Luke 17:7 started talking about us putting servants to work for us. He was still talking in the context of faith. If we use his analogy then we can say <strong>that faith is our servant</strong> which we can put to work to bring forth what we need.</p>
<p>Here are some personalized Biblical positive thinking with affirmations about believing:</p>
<p>I shall live by believing<br />
I will live by believing<br />
I am living by believing<br />
Hey I actually do live by believing<br />
I am justified by believing<br />
I have been made righteous by believing<br />
I have been made just by believing<br />
By believing I have access to the grace of God<br />
I am a child of God by believing in Christ Jesus<br />
Christ dwells in my heart by believing<br />
I have faith in God<br />
I am full of belief and power<br />
I have the belief to be healed<br />
My heart is purified by belief<br />
I will continue living in belief</p>
<p>Brethren as Jude said in verse 20 &#8211; But ye, beloved, <strong>building up yourselves</strong> on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost, Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.</p>
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<p>  <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles"></a></p>
<p>    <strong><a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a></strong> -<br />
    <strong>About the Author:</strong>
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<p>How would you like to improve your life starting today? Visit Allan&#8217;s site to discover an exciting and effortless way to empower your mind with Christian positive thinking using the power of <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackPageview', '/outgoing/article_exit_link']);" href="http://www.spiritualsowing.com/">Christian affirmations</a></p>
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<p>  <b>Source:</b>  <a href="/christianity-articles/christian-faith-and-positive-thinking-3092247.html" title="Christian Faith and Positive Thinking">http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/christian-faith-and-positive-thinking-3092247.html</a></p>
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                                        <a href="/article-tags/spiritual-positive-thinking">spiritual positive thinking</a>, <a href="/article-tags/affirmations">affirmations</a>, <a href="/article-tags/christian">christian</a>, <a href="/article-tags/christian-faith">christian faith</a>, <a href="/article-tags/positive-thinking-faith">positive thinking faith</a>  </p>
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<p>There are evangelists, pastors and workers who never wrote a book, sold a tape, drew a crowd or gained national fame, but they paid the price. Like Noah, whose membership never exceeded 8 in the Ark, they ministered faithfully.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/ronke-immanuel/523329" title="Ronke Immanuel's Articles">Ronke Immanuel</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Fulfilling Your Calling – Part 2" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/fulfilling-your-calling-part-2-3657277.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Fulfilling Your Calling – Part 2</a></p>
<p>The highest level of joy you will ever know is having a clear understanding of God&#8217;s will and knowing how to fulfil it. Once you know that, you can lace up your shoes and start running. You can only win if you run on the track the Lord has chosen for you. As King David prayed, you will pray for the Lord to teach you His ways and lead you in a straight path.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/ronke-immanuel/523329" title="Ronke Immanuel's Articles">Ronke Immanuel</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Fulfilling Your Calling - Part 1" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/fulfilling-your-calling-part-1-3657267.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Fulfilling Your Calling &#8211; Part 1</a></p>
<p>Once you have discovered your calling, through the help of the Holy Spirit, the next step is to fulfil it. (Please see my article, &#8220;Discovering your calling.&#8221;) Sometimes, what you hear in your spirit will be different from what you hear with your natural ears. Once you understand that, nothing will be more important to you than keeping pace with God, for His direction is always right. His timing is always perfect and His results are always best.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/ronke-immanuel/523329" title="Ronke Immanuel's Articles">Ronke Immanuel</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Discovering Your Calling - Part 2" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/discovering-your-calling-part-2-3657261.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Discovering Your Calling &#8211; Part 2</a></p>
<p>You must not let anyone label you or put you in a box. Also, do not let anyone look down on you because of your age or status. Being poor of physically challenged does not mean that one cannot answer God&#8217;s calling. Once you pray and ask God to direct you into your calling, look unto Him only and He will not lead you astray.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/ronke-immanuel/523329" title="Ronke Immanuel's Articles">Ronke Immanuel</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Discovering Your calling - Part 1" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/discovering-your-calling-part-1-3657249.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Discovering Your calling &#8211; Part 1</a></p>
<p>Before you can discover what God has called you to do or reach your full potential, you have got to find a lasting basis on which to build your self-worth. Discovering your call is finding out or learning for the first time what God has got in store for you. Just as one&#8217;s beliefs can move one forward, shadow beliefs can hold one back.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/ronke-immanuel/523329" title="Ronke Immanuel's Articles">Ronke Immanuel</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="The will of God Reveals the Father" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/the-will-of-god-reveals-the-father-3656905.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">The will of God Reveals the Father</a></p>
<p>The highest level of the will of God is the manifestation of the glory of the Father in the life of His sons. Read about it.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/brotherenoch/290481" title="BrotherEnoch's Articles">BrotherEnoch</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Christian Mentoring Mentors for Success in Christian Life" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/christian-mentoring-mentors-for-success-in-christian-life-3655206.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Christian Mentoring Mentors for Success in Christian Life</a></p>
<p>&#8220;If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.&#8221; Isaac Newton. &#8220;Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.&#8221; I Corinthians 11:1. Whatever you may be doing or passing through, somebody has done or gone through it successfully. Christian mentoring mentors are essential for you to succeed in your Christian life and fulfil your destiny.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/ifeoma-nwoke/613880" title="Ifeoma Nwoke's Articles">Ifeoma Nwoke</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Nov 12, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Christian Positive Thinking For Confidence" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/christian-positive-thinking-for-confidence-3092270.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Christian Positive Thinking For Confidence</a></p>
<p>Confidence is that which has a firm and solid foundation and to me it all begins with having Jesus as our foundation because he is the rock which we can stand upon with full assurance and trust.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/" title="Self Improvement Articles">Self Improvement</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/" title="Self Help Articles">Self Help</a>l<br />
          Aug 20, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Christian Faith and Positive Thinking" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/christian-faith-and-positive-thinking-3092247.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Christian Faith and Positive Thinking</a></p>
<p>If just the tiniest portion of faith (the size of a tiny grain of mustard seed) can remove mountains then what could an entire fist full of faith accomplish? The next time you are in a Church gathering and your fellowship is praying for someone or something, think about the entire collective joined together as one massive powerful force of faith. If all just possessed a mustard seed of faith then combined your prayers can bring forth miracles.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Aug 20, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Christian Positive Thinking For Purpose" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/christian-positive-thinking-for-purpose-3092229.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Christian Positive Thinking For Purpose</a></p>
<p>We have been taken out of an aimless and purposeless world and translated into the amazing kingdom of Jesus Christ full of purpose. From this day forward my friends we can together move beyond positive thinking and fulfill our Christ given destinies.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/" title="Self Improvement Articles">Self Improvement</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/" title="Self Help Articles">Self Help</a>l<br />
          Aug 20, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Christian Positive Thinking For Strength" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/christian-positive-thinking-for-strength-3092204.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Christian Positive Thinking For Strength</a></p>
<p>How is your heart going? Would you like a stronger heart? Then take hold of Psalm 73:26 which say, God is the strength of my heart. You don&#8217;t want to be afraid anymore? Then Psalm 27:1 is for you because it says, Who shall you fear? When the Lord is the strength of your life, of whom shall you be afraid? Are you going through a hard time?</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/" title="Self Improvement Articles">Self Improvement</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/self-help-articles/" title="Self Help Articles">Self Help</a>l<br />
          Aug 20, 2010</p>
<p>                        <a title="Ask Jesus and He Shall Give You The Desires Of Your Heart" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/ask-jesus-and-he-shall-give-you-the-desires-of-your-heart-1425691.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Ask Jesus and He Shall Give You The Desires Of Your Heart</a></p>
<p>It is an interesting study when looking at the word ask in the Bible. Jesus encourages us to ask and at first we might think well of course we ask Jesus for things all the time but when we honestly contemplate it there are things like pride and fear that do prevent people from asking Jesus or anyone else for that matter for assistance.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/" title="Religion Articles">Religion</a>l<br />
          Nov 05, 2009<br />
                    lViews: 574</p>
<p>                        <a title="The Wonderful Ye Shall Promises Of God Bible Affirmations" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/the-wonderful-ye-shall-promises-of-god-bible-affirmations-1399608.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">The Wonderful Ye Shall Promises Of God Bible Affirmations</a></p>
<p>I love exploring certain word phrases within the scriptures and today while looking at the phrase (ye shall) it opened the door to some amazing promises of God and Bible affirmations. So without further ado let&#8217;s have a look at some of the ye shalls mentioned in the word of God.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/christianity-articles/" title="Christianity Articles">Christianity</a>l<br />
          Oct 30, 2009<br />
                    lViews: 430</p>
<p>                        <a title="It Is Your Responsibility and Your Choice" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/it-is-your-responsibility-and-your-choice-1398723.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">It Is Your Responsibility and Your Choice</a></p>
<p>It&#8217;s always your choice. Think about the reverse side of what is being said in some of these scriptures. If you want to really get the rewards in life love your enemies. On the surface that sounds so hard but when you do it releases you from so much bondage and gives you so much power it&#8217;s amazing.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/" title="Religion Articles">Religion</a>l<br />
          Oct 29, 2009</p>
<p>                        <a title="Healing Affirmations" href="http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/healing-affirmations-1395001.html" onclick="_gaq.push(['_trackEvent', 'Articles', 'RelatedArticle', 'Christianity']);">Healing Affirmations</a></p>
<p>There is no better healing affirmation then the word of God itself. Go through every scripture related to healing and print them out and read them and re-read them. Sow them into your heart and be wonderfully uplifted by all of the healings Jesus performed. Stick healing verses beside your bed so they are the first thing you look at in the morning and the last thing you see at night.</p>
<p>          By:<br />
          <a href="/authors/allan-wilson/14212" title="Allan Wilson's Articles">Allan Wilson</a>l</p>
<p>            <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/spirituality-articles/" title="Spirituality Articles">Spirituality</a>&gt;<br />
                    <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/religion-articles/" title="Religion Articles">Religion</a>l<br />
          Oct 29, 2009<br />
                    lViews: 141</p>
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<p>How would you like to improve your life starting today? Visit Allan&#8217;s site to discover an exciting and effortless way to empower your mind with Christian positive thinking using the power of <a rel="nofollow" onclick="javascript:_gaq.push(['_trackPageview', '/outgoing/article_exit_link']);" href="http://www.spiritualsowing.com/">Christian affirmations</a></p>
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		<title>Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking &#8211; Men Behaving Badly</title>
		<link>http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/07/22/love-marriage-and-stinking-thinking-men-behaving-badly/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/07/22/love-marriage-and-stinking-thinking-men-behaving-badly/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jul 2010 05:27:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Forums]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Badly]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/07/22/love-marriage-and-stinking-thinking-men-behaving-badly/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you or anyone you know has ever wondered what to do about a man who behaves very badly, this is the show for you to watch. Mark and Debbie look at both sides of the coin: What guys contribute to the situation and what women do that enables the rotten behavior. Get ready to [...]]]></description>
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If you or anyone you know has ever wondered what to do about a man who behaves very badly, this is the show for you to watch. Mark and Debbie look at both sides of the coin: What guys contribute to the situation and what women do that enables the rotten behavior. Get ready to be challenged in your thinking as Mark explains why our culture is in desperate need of strong, confident, respectful women&#8211;what he terms &#8220;butt kicking women!&#8221; Hear how the submission message that churches have been teaching and preaching for decades has contributed to the demise of marriage. You don&#8217;t want to miss what Mark has to say about the &#8220;just submit&#8221; advice many pastors give to answer marital issues. For more information on the show and more of Mark Gungor, please check out our website, www.stinkingthinking.tv</p>
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		<title>Hitchens: deism, theism, wishful thinking.</title>
		<link>http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/06/28/hitchens-deism-theism-wishful-thinking/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/06/28/hitchens-deism-theism-wishful-thinking/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Jun 2010 06:13:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Another piece of the debate Turek vs. Hitchens at VCU in Richmond, VA complete at: www.vimeo.com CH argument: There is an infinite possibility of &#8220;god-assertions&#8221; (Ra, Jehova, Huitzlopochtli, etc. up to the &#8220;personal god&#8221;) that cannot be disproven. Atheists however do not deny those gods existence, which is logically impossible, they simply say there is [...]]]></description>
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Another piece of the debate Turek vs. Hitchens at VCU in Richmond, VA complete at: www.vimeo.com CH argument: There is an infinite possibility of &#8220;god-assertions&#8221; (Ra, Jehova, Huitzlopochtli, etc. up to the &#8220;personal god&#8221;) that cannot be disproven. Atheists however do not deny those gods existence, which is logically impossible, they simply say there is no empirical evidence for such an assertion. Deism, while being empirically not necessary -science offers better explanations- is also not Theism: the argument from design does not imply (and cannot) the Christian god or any interventionist god. Further, the spiritual language of many scientists does not necessarily mean they believe in god. Interesting for those who want to learn how to argue consistently: en.wikipedia.org</p>
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		<title>Thinking fast, by kids in grade school</title>
		<link>http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/03/03/thinking-fast-by-kids-in-grade-school/</link>
		<comments>http://www.cmgparking.com/2010/03/03/thinking-fast-by-kids-in-grade-school/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Mar 2010 19:33:00 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description><![CDATA[TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign? WEBSTER: The one that says, &#34;School Ahead, Go Slow.&#34; &#8212; TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! &#8212; TEACHER: John, how do you spell &#34;crocodile?&#34; JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L&#34; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><b><font color="Navy"></font><font size="2">TEACHER: Why are you late?<br />
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.<br />
TEACHER: What sign?<br />
WEBSTER: The one that says, &quot;School Ahead, Go Slow.&quot;</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?<br />
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: John, how do you spell &quot;crocodile?&quot;<br />
JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L&quot;<br />
TEACHER: No, that&#8217;s wrong<br />
JOHN: Maybe it&#8217;s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?<br />
SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!<br />
TEACHER: What are you talking about?<br />
SARAH: Yesterday you said it&#8217;s H to O!</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.<br />
GEORGE: Here it is!<br />
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?<br />
CLASS: George!</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn&#8217;t have ten years ago.<br />
WILLIE: Me!</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?<br />
TOMMY: Well, I&#8217;m a lot closer to! the ground than you are.</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with &quot;I.&quot;<br />
ELLEN: I is&#8230;<br />
TEACHER: No, Ellen&#8230;.. Always say, &quot;I am.&quot;<br />
ELLEN: All right&#8230; &quot;I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.&quot;</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: &quot;Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?&quot;<br />
JOHNNY: &quot;Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.&quot;</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: &quot;George Washington not only chopped down his father&#8217;s cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn&#8217;t punish him?&quot;<br />
JOHNNY: &quot;Because George still had the ax in his hand.&quot;</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?<br />
SAM: No sir, I don&#8217;t have to, my Mom is a good cook.</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on &quot;My Dog&quot; is exactly the same as your brother&#8217;s. Did you copy his?<br />
DESMOND: No, teacher, it&#8217;s the same dog!</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?<br />
PUPIL: A teacher.</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?<br />
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?<br />
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.<br />
</font></b></div>
<p>View full post on <a href="http://www.christian-chat.net/clean-joke-forum/15691-thinking-fast-kids-grade-school.html">The Christian Chat Network</a></p>
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